The Best Laid Plans
by s82
Summary: April Fool's Day, Young Justice, and Batman. Spells trouble for a certain Boy Wonder.


Disclaimer: Not mine- no money- no permission. That says it all.  
  
Rating: G   
  
Archive: Rea's site, Firebird's site and the YJ fiction site. Anyone else, just let me know so I can visit it.   
  
Notes: I know it's no where close to April, but I got bit by this bunny and wanted to post it. Hopefully it's funny. This has nothing to do with the current issues of Robin or YJ- no spoilers and no relation.  
  
FB would be great!  
  
~  
  
THE BEST LAID PLANS...  
By: Susie  
  
~  
  
Every Saturday we have a Young Justice meeting. I can handle that- I mean, only seeing them once a week, that is. It's not that I don't like my teammates- they're really good friends. I trust them- most of the time- with my life and know they'd be there to back me up if I needed it. Of course, they only know Robin, but if they knew Tim, I'd say we'd be pretty good friends.  
  
I do consider the member of YJ to be good friends- of Robin. I know it annoys them that they don't actually know the person behind the mask, but that's something that I can't fix. Without Bruce's consent, I will always be just Robin to them. Perhaps, I'll tell them one day, but right now, I think Bart has enough trouble keeping his ID safe- don't want to add mine to the mix.  
  
But, back to the Saturday meetings. I enjoy the time I spend with them- just not the time when I have to actually get points across to them. It's just that the meetings are...well...almost painful. It's hard to try and get five people of such varying personalities to settle down and listen.  
  
Never mind hard- it's near impossible.  
  
Kon will always be ranting about the latest swimsuit issue of something or other. Cassie, who actually pays the most attention (bless her), sometimes spaces out listening to Superboy. Anita is rarely there because of her father which I totally understand, but without her Lobo is...well...Lobo. There's no way I'll ever get his attention away from fraggin'. And then there's Bart, who...well...I don't even try to keep his attention anymore.   
  
Nearly gave myself a hernia trying.  
  
All in all, the meetings take about an hour and then I'm done. End of story- nothing more. Sometimes I stay and hang out a bit letting them know Robin is, after all, human. But more often that not, I speed my way along to Gotham to visit my dad since the "library" excuse is only good for so many hours.  
  
This Saturday, I woke up knowing I had the meeting and wondering how I could get out of it. The reasoning behind my wanting to ditch was that this Saturday happened to be April 1st.   
  
AKA- April Fool's Day.  
  
If there was one group of people I didn't trust on April Fool's Day it would be Young Justice...well...them and Dick, but at least I can get Dick back. I can't get YJ back because that would not be "leadership material"- as Bruce always says.  
  
I mean, picture Batman putting itching powder in Superman's boots- kinda looses the whole Tall, Dark, and Dangerous picture that the Batfamily tries to uphold.  
  
So, it's with a headache already forming that I go off to our headquarters. I can tell it's going to be a LONG day.  
  
I reach the steps into the resort, also out new hideout, and can already tell my headache will turn into a migraine before this meeting's over. The door is precariously balance just a bit open- my guess is that a bucket of water waits on the other side.   
  
Oh, goody.  
  
Skipping that door- I find the next logical way to enter (especially for a Batfamily member)- The window. That was left untouched and I make it inside to see Lobo and Kon looking at the door with goofy grins on their faces.  
  
I swear they can't do anything right- if you really want to get someone on April Fool's Day you've got to think up new ideas- the lame bucket on door- which, when I see the door, is what they had in mind- is not going to work.  
  
I clear my throat and am rewarded when they all jump and turn to look at me with startled expressions.  
  
Robin- 1 YJ- 0  
  
"Nice bucket." I comment before walking further indoors. Lobo lets off a small and colorful expression while Kon mutters something along the lines of 'knew it wouldn't work.'  
  
The guys follow me into the makeshift conference room and have a sit. I take a different chair since mine has glue on the seat. Bart, probably forgetting about the warning Kon gave about glue- gee, big surprise- takes that seat before SB can tell him not to. Lobo starts laughing as Impulse tries to rise from the seat. I must say that is some strong glue. Finally, the hyperactive kid gets loose although he has some paint chips stuck to the seat of his outfit.  
  
Robin-2 YJ- 0  
  
"Where are the girls?" Oh, please don't tell me they won't be here...please...only their somewhat attention keeps my sanity through these meetings...without them-  
  
"Cass had to stay with her mom and Anita went to her Grandma. Secret is...well...I don't know where Secret it."  
  
-I'm going to go crazy. I mentally sigh- a long deep mental sigh. So, it's the Three Stooges and me.   
  
Wonderful.  
  
"Okay, well the first order of business." And already Bart has his video game. Okay, that's nice- glad to see I have their attention. I continue to talk noticing Lobo and Kon exchanging glances. Well, that means one of two things.  
  
One- there's another April Fool's Day surprise waiting for me.  
  
Two- Wendy the Werewolf stalker is behind me stripping.  
  
Since, the second one seems highly unlikely, I'm guessing it's the first one. I continue to talk although now I'm on alert- waiting for the attack. My senses prick up a second before I would have received a cream pie on the top of my head. I tuck and roll to safety while the cream stuff plops on the ground. Back to my feet, and I look to see Secret floating just where I had been a moment ago.  
  
Aha! Trick the poor, naïve girl to help you with your plans- not bad.   
  
Not good, but not bad.   
  
I dust myself off and nod to Secret who looks at Kon and Lobo with a confused expression. I'm guessing they told her something along the lines of 'Hit Robin with the pie because that's what happens every April the First. He'll love it.'   
  
Oh, yeah. Love it.  
  
Robin- 3 YJ- 0  
  
SB and the crazy, homicidal maniac, advert the stare that I have fixed on them. Oh, like I'll believe that they didn't plan that. Sure, right after I believe the Joker is actually sane.  
  
"Okay, so we need to talk about the JLA meeting that we are supposed to sit in on in three weeks." Totally premature- they won't remember a word I say about the meeting in two minutes, but I need to sound like YJ has important things happening. Truth is, these meeting could be done in about ten minutes.  
  
I just feel like I'm doing my job better as a leader if our group actually has "important" stuff to talk about at meetings. Ever think the JLA would have a ten-minute meeting? Nope- not on your life. So, I talk about stuff, I'm sure, they could care less about in a good fifteen minutes.  
  
It's then I realize my voice is softly fading. Water sure would be nice.  
  
As if he read my mind (that's a scary thought) Superboy gets to his feet and offers to get my something to drink.  
  
Okay, I've try to think about how I could let him get me my drink. Lapse in sanity? Exposure to Joker toxins? Perhaps, I got drugged without knowing it. Anyway, he comes back and here's another lapse in sanity I have.  
  
I take a drink.  
  
I know! I know! What was I thinking? Well, that I was thirsty mainly. Instantly, I know what's wrong- lemon juice- PURE lemon juice.  
  
You have no idea how hard it is to keep your dignity while spewing juice everywhere. I think I failed horrible if the enormous laughter from Lobo and Kon was any indication.   
  
Game. Set. Match. Robin lost.  
  
Okay, now I want to kill myself...  
  
...no, scratch that. I want to kill THEM. I regain my sense a bit later (after a lot of water which I rushed into the kitchen to get) and give those two the most Batman-like glare I can. They don't by it and still laugh.  
  
Fine.  
  
Forget Batman. Forget the Batfamily motto of 'Thou Shall Not Participate In April Fools'. Forget my own promise that I wouldn't get involved.  
  
This means war.  
  
No one messes with me and gets away scott free. I was willing to let the pranks go as long as I didn't fall victim to them. Truth of the matter is, I'm embarrassed and refuse- REFUSE- to be bested. They better be ready to face the wrath of Robin.  
  
I finish the meeting- Kon and Lobo still laugh and imitate my expression- sad thing is they probably aren't far off- and head back home.   
  
Or so they think.  
  
You cannot best the Master, young grasshoppers, prepare to be amazed.  
  
The first thing about having a successful April Day Fool's prank played out is surprise. You can't get back right away- you have to wait until they're vulnerable- weak- and then strike.  
  
Young Justice is, luckily, always vulnerable so this makes it a bit easier for me.  
  
The next thing you need is reinforcements. Kon and Lobo knew this- divide you fall, but together you stand. A quick call to Bludhaven gets Nightwing and, a quick connection gets Oracle, on my side. Haha. Now, that I have them, I am a lean, mean, pranking machine.  
  
The final thing you need to know, to have a successful operation happen, is to think big. Sure, the juice, was funny, but very easy to do. Yeah, yeah I fell for it, but that doesn't matter. Thinking big does. With Nightwing and Oracle on my side I am thinking VERY big.   
  
It's going to be great.  
  
The first step I have to take it to figure out to attack them as a group or individually. Since Secret and Impulse really didn't have anything to do with the pranks (or at least with the one I fell for) they'll be left alone. A rule of 'get backs'- only get those that offended you back, never bring in innocents.  
  
Knowing that getting them individually would be easier, I go for the group approach. I am (after all) Robin- I can handle hard.  
  
So, I have my sights set on Lobo and Kon. Poor unknowing fools.  
  
My second step is to get Oracle to tap into out lighting system- she does in a matter of seconds (bless her, too) and stands ready. After that I have to get Dick to our hideout. This one will take- he says- an hour. Okay, I can handle that.  
  
Now, I creep around our happy home in the shadows securing the doors and windows. They think they'll escape.   
  
Aha! Not a chance.  
  
So, I'm ready surprisingly fast- dang it- now I have to wait. I can do that- I've waited out worse. While I'm sitting here- in a tree- I contemplate my plan.  
  
I'll give the word to Oracle ("GO") and she'll quickly switch off the lights leaving my teammates in the darkness. At this point I'll sneak inside and 'kidnap' Secret and Impulse. Well, okay, really I ask Secret to follow me and pull Bart outside with my hand over his mouth. I'll promise them that if they don't say a word I'll give Bart the new Ninja game and Secret a dinner date. Perhaps, the dinner isn't a good idea- but she's nice so why not?   
  
Then I'll wait for Nightwing to join me in (here's the best part) in a Batman outfit. He has one from the time he was the Dark Knight- don't ask why he kept it...obsessed much? So, then Dick, as Batman, goes inside and scares the doo-doo outta my two teammates.  
  
I plan on having it dramatic- Barb operating the lights making 'Batman' even scarier than before. Also, the cameras are going...I have to see their faces!  
  
A quick glance to my watch tells me Dick should be here in about thirty minutes. I rub my hands together- this is going to be great!  
  
"Robin."  
  
Huh? That sounds like Bruce, but I don't have my transmitter on. So, that means he's-  
  
"Robin, come down."  
  
-HERE?!?! Cripes!  
  
I jump down from the tree all the while cursing (in Japanese) about the error of timing. I look up to the Dark cowl.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Bruce looks around- probably trying to figure out why I look like a scared rabbit. Oh well, it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that Dick will be here soon in Batman's old outfit. Nope. Not that.  
  
I am SO dead.  
  
"I need you to come on patrol with me."  
  
NOW?!? No- not now. "Um...I'm kinda waiting for the rest of Young Justice." Okay- mental forehead smack. Waiting for YJ? So, why was I outside in a tree?  
  
"Why were you outside in a tree then?"  
  
Well, his mind reading skills have improved. I'm impressed. "I was doing...surveillance..."  
  
Wow, I suck.  
  
"We're going on patrol...now."   
  
Um...this isn't good.  
  
"Hey, Boy Wonder!"  
  
Oh, fudge. Figures the one time Dick will be early is tonight. I slowly turn and see another Batman. This is very surreal.  
  
Bruce looks up at Dick and the two just stare. I resist the urge to run away- hmmm, wonder if Superman needs a sidekick?  
  
Now, they both stop staring at each other and look at me. Hehe. Great.  
  
"Um...so about patrolling..." I start lamely, but Batman (Bruce that is) just gives me that Look. The one that says 'You tell me what is going on this second or I WILL kill you.' Sure, he wouldn't kill me, but still...  
  
"This is..." I want to say funny, but something tells me not to. "...this is different." Maybe if I play dumb, they'll believe me.  
  
"Why is Nightwing dressed as Batman?" Because he wanted to? So, that probably wouldn't be the right answer, right?  
  
I turned to look at Dick like he'll save me. He shrugs his shoulders. Great- no help there. Fine, time to just spill the beans.  
  
I do so, wondering what is going through Bruce's head, probably a hundred and one ways to make me cry during a workout (he can too). I finish my lame story and hang my head.  
  
"Go to patrol." Sir! Yes, sir!  
  
I take off with my tail (or cape) between my legs. My wonderful prank- wasted- because of a stupid turn of events.  
  
I hate my life sometimes.  
  
Lobo and Superboy get off the hook- they think they've bested me.   
  
I fly away in my RedBird not looking back at the two Batman.  
  
~  
  
I looked at Bruce and slowly removed the cowl to reveal my Nightwing mask.   
  
"You know that was probably a fairly cruel thing to do."  
  
Batman nods his head. "Probably."  
  
"But, it was still nice planning."  
  
Bruce, I know, has to be smiling under the mask. "Yes."  
  
"So..." I begin to walk with Bruce towards out vehicles. "...who wants to tell him he fell victim to the original duo of pranks?"  
  
Batman looks directly at me. "Who says we'll tell him?"  
  
"You're evil." I forgot how much Bruce loved April Fool's Day. Go figure he actually has a sense of humor.  
  
We get into our respective vehicles and head to our own cities.  
  
~  
  
I jump out of the RedBird and suddenly hear a deep growl in my ear. Oh, great.  
  
"Batman?"  
  
"Patrol route D and meet back at the Cave by midnight." I resist the urge to mock salute because I'm afraid he's nearby.  
  
"Okay."  
  
I get ready to click off the link when he speaks again.  
  
"Oh, and Robin." He pauses- can't be good when he does that. "April Fools."  
  
Huh? April...Fools? What is he...  
  
...WAIT! April Fools? APRIL FOOLS!  
  
AHHH! I hate them. Those...those...jerks! Probably not the worst insult I could come up with, but I'm too...too...  
  
...embarrassed. That's twice in one day- my worse statistics ever. Just shoot me now.  
  
I jump off the side of the building already planning next year's pranks.   
  
I have not yet begun to fight.  
  
~THE END~  
  



End file.
